Thread:Sweetangel823/@comment-32955846-20171016184536/@comment-17703532-20171202104602

I think something may have messed up, because I'm not sure if the comments I make show up for you (I think GT may have created a copy for me :/), so I'll answer here instead~

I think it's good. I like that the episode starts with the same that it ends with, and gives it both a nice circle (not sure if my teacher is the only one who uses this term for it, but yeah, it's a good thing) and an In medias res feeling too^^

There are actually very few grammatical errors that I can find^^ Really the only thing I'd change in the epsiode screenplay itself, is "She jostles without doing it on purpose Amaya" (it sounds a little bit awkward^^; ) where I'd change it to "She jostles Amaya without doing it on purpose" or "She accidentally jostles Amaya".

Imposter is also spelled with an E instead of impostor ;) (In Mechanical Heart, in the second to last section on page 3~ ) I like the song as well^^